no. i am not okay. i feel broken. sad. empty. a piece of me is and forever will be gone. i am not alone in my experience but that doesn’t and can’t take away from how i feel or how i am dealing with the loss.
i am devastated.
and that has to be okay.
i was so happy to be pregnant. we worked for it. i felt it. that baby was mine.
i saw him. his little spine. his tiny head. baby w. our baby.
he had a heartbeat for almost 11 weeks. he grew as i did.
i’m still shaking. i’m still crying.
i can’t pretend that this doesn’t hurt, that a little piece of my soul isn’t gone. i am not okay.
i will be. i have love and support. i have the most beautiful, caring, loving, hysterical, daughter. we will try again. i will be okay.
but right now, i am not.